I don’t want to be mean during this, or have all of my friends hate me, but I have some things to point out. I made my decision to give Kyle up for adoption not because I didn’t want him anymore, not because I was “throwing him away”, but because in approx. 5 days, I have to leave where I’m staying at and have no where to go, and I was not dragging him out on the streets with me. He deserves so much better than that. And I don’t appreciate all the negative criticism that I’ve been getting. My mom, my friends. No one understands he’s in a so much better place now. He has a loving married mommy and daddy, which the daddy owns his own business. 2 story house in Venice, and he gets 3 new little sisters that kiss him every day before they leave for school. Which, speaking of school, I never have to worry about him going to college, it will be paid for. There’s always someone around to play and love him. No one understands this is the right thing to do. I know he’s in the greatest care possible. My KJ only deserves the best and that’s what he’s getting. No one but me understands all this, but that’s ok. This is my life, and I have it under control. As for myself, I don’t know where I’ll be in 5 days, because I’ve been given the short end of the stick in life, but I have the comfort of knowing I’m not bringing my son down with me like my mother brought me down with her.
In other news… I’m suffering from a spider bite, most likely Brown Recluse. I hate spiders. Nasty, ugly creatures that serve little purpose. I feel like going on a spider killing rampage, really. It started out as nothing but a pimple on my elbow on Monday, and then it grew to a small scab on Thursday. I woke up Friday afternoon and my right arm is numb and the would is now a hole about the size of a dime. I went to the emergency room, and the stupid blonde ditz took one look at it, told me it was a staff infection, and sent me home with antibiotics. I woke up this morning (Sat) for work and the hole is now as deep and wide as a penny. So I go all through the work day, and my arm around the wound is turning bright red, and it’s getting severly swollen around the bandage. So after I got off work at 2, I headed home, and then when I showed Mike’s dad my arm, he suggested I go to the ER again, and the thought was already in the back of my mind. So he dropped me off around 4:50PM, I wasn’t seen until 5:50PM, and I wasn’t brought back into a room until 6:50PM. And from there I sat and waited even longer. The doctor came in and I took my bandages off, and he said it deffinately had characteristics of a spider bite. He said they would have to give me a very strong shot of antibiotic and then I would have to come back tomorrow and get another one, and them check up on how it was doing. They also took 4 tubes of blood tonight, as apposed to 5 last night, and hooked me up to an IV, which they put a dose of steroids, the same antibiotic from last night, Benydryl, and Pepcid. And I got pretty loopy after the Benydryl, so I fell asleep. I called Nathan durring this time though, and I sounded completely drunk. Too bad he didn’t record it. Any how, as of now it’s not swollen too bad, just tender and sore, and it doesn’t hurt, and I haven’t had any pain meds, so I’m doing good.